Life is hard is a statement I’ve heard repeated numerous times throughout my life. For some they feel they can accomplish everything on their own, while others struggle. They need constant support. However, the thing both of those mindsets have is a friend or friends that they can rely on.
I’ve been lucky in my life to have a great group of friends in my corner. When I was younger I knew who my best man was going to be at age eight, I just had to find that person to stand beside me. Sports has been the most consistent thing in my life, it has brought me so much joy and heartache, taught me lessons but most importantly gave me life long friends. I’m seeing some similarities with both my boys and sports. Friendships are being made, strong connections are being established as well as seeing the support system being built. To see people come out and watch, text and inquire about the team and the boys successes and failures. I’m driven to give my teams every opportunity I can, which results in playing in rain, snow and heat. To see the friends who come in that weather is a true sign on how much they care. I have friends who have never came or asked about the boys sports and that’s fine, I know every person is in a different place in their life.
The thing that is hard for me to put together is the “friend” who is only there when they need something or it’s good for them. I had a “friend” who has promised Deuces so much stuff and has yet to deliver. It’s to the point that Deuces who idolizes this person has been hurt so many times he’s stopped communicating with him. We’ve all been in a similar situation, a “friend” calls when they need something, yet never there when you need help. There’s “friends” that can’t come around if someone else is there. Your feelings and needs only matter when you stop helping them.
On the other side of that is the friend who will give you the shirt off their back. They know you’re busy and have a crazy schedule and offer to do whatever it takes to help, beit taking or setting up rides for your kids. They ask and genuinely care about what happens in your life. They support your craziness and inability to say no. They never ask anything in return all they want from your is your friendship.
I, myself have been guilty of both aspects above. I will do everything in my power to not be that “friend” but I let my schedule dictate too much in my life. I miss things, I have forgotten birthdays and other special dates. I don’t get to call people as much as I would like, however, the phone call is slowly becoming a thing of the past. Everyone wants to talk via text, its faster and you can talk to multiple people at a time.. I know because I do it also.
My boys have some special people in their lives. They have friends who they lean on during good and bad times. To see them light up when that friend is near. To see the flip of a switch when their name is mentioned is a great thing to witness as a parent. You know how tough things are, how tough they can be and for your child to have others to talk to makes live easier. To witness your kids being that friend to help others through a tough time, to see them listen, encourage, support and be a cheerleader for their friend makes your proud.
What kind of friend do you want to be? The common misconception is I don’t need them as a friend as there’s more people out there. I still have people who were close to me that we no longer talk. It still hurts, I’ve played it out in my head several times what went wrong. Some questions there’s no right answers. One of my closest friends I let pride step in and neither of us backed down. We didn’t talk for about a year, I missed things, which still eats at me. Once we finally sat down together and talked we got back to where we were, our friendship is stronger than ever. He’s one of the people I do call on a consistent schedule. Pride, arrogance and jealousy are three factors that destroy friendships.
Be a better friend today. Answer that call. Pick up the phone and call someone else. Care more about others than yourself. Know that someone’s day is brighter with you in it. If you’re reading this, thank you! I cherish each my the friendships I’ve built. I miss the ones that went astray, I look forward to strengthening the ones I have and look forward to the friendships I’ve yet to make.
Enjoy your day!
TCB