We all have had interactions with someone without ever meeting the person. You paint a picture of what you think that person looks and is like. If you do get to meet them in person you often utter or hear the words, It’s great to finally put a face with the name. We base our judgement’s on someone’s looks on how they sound. Stop and think about that for a second.
When I used to travel for work I spent large amounts of my day on the phone or communicating via email with others. I built many a relationship with that communication and not seeing or officially meeting the individual(s). Your communication and interactions may never lead to a face-to-face meeting. So your thoughts on looks is based on your expectation and sound of that person. It was always interesting walking into a location the first time when you felt like you knew the person, yet had no real idea what they looked like. Now a days Social Media has made that task a little easier, FaceBook stalking is something we all do.
I remember communicating with someone for months and then traveled to the location to do an audit and was going to “meet” them for the first time. I consider myself to be pretty athletic and in decent shape. I had got frustrated with a communication prior to my trip and in my head thought alright I will use my looks and size to get what I want. The dude walks out to the lobby where I was waiting looking like he just got done bench pressing a Buick. Needless to say my alpha card went back into my pocket. I laughed and said well, you’re bigger than I thought you were going to be so much for plan A. In that case the picture didn’t match my expectation.
On the flip side, we’ve all had that picture of a person and when they walked into a room they were exactly as you had imagined. The communication and personal relationships many build without seeing someone is remarkable. I oversaw a few people in a previous position, my only interaction with them was from calls and emails. We had to build trust and an understanding of each others wants and needs. Going on a blind-date is another avenue where you try to paint a picture of someone without seeing them.
Again, Social Media is bringing more color to those pictures now. What do most parents do now when their child comes home talking about a new friend? Straight to Facebook… What’s their name? Is so-and-so their parents name? Then the parent bases their thoughts and picture on the child and family based on Facebook posts.
Another side of the painting is when someone watches you to see how the painting is going. I’ve noticed over the last few weeks Deuces hasn’t been having fun. He’s been stressed and pressing himself because he feels like he has to live up to a certain level. It’s an almost unattainable level, when all he has to be is himself. Being himself is what has gotten him to this point. I watched him at his last track practice last night, which he wasn’t having fun. He’s not running in the two events he likes and has actually done well at. His closest friend wasn’t there so he was down. He is stressed because she is stressed about an event. He keeps asking what can I do to help her. After track we went to hit with his guy. He went into the cage trying to hit a 20 run homerun on the first swing and failed. He got upset with himself and could have been done in three swings. Alan stopped and talked to him, Deuces slowed himself down and by the end of the lesson was all smiles, was joking and talking about his favorite people. He was back to himself.
Alan talked about the picture he was displaying. When you get to the point of not having fun and when you can’t handle the stress and pressure you have put on yourself you shut down. That is a picture no one wants to look at. There’s several opportunities ahead of Deuces because he was having fun and people saw that. The picture you show when you go 4-4 or 0-4 should be the same. Be a great teammate, pick others up and have them pick you up. People are watching your picture being painted each time you succeed and each time you fail. In baseball you failure rate is a lot higher, coaches know its going to happen, they want to see how you handle it. Do you go back to the dugout with your head down, no high-fives and throwing stuff after you strike out? Or do you go back, talk to the on-deck batter, put you helmet away and get back on the fence cheering on your team?
It was a great ride home after everything last night. I asked him who does he care about most, he said family and his closest friend. I said do you think she likes the Landon who smiles and is there for her or the Landon who is down on himself and looks unhappy. I said the paintbrush is in your hand, I can give you the canvas but it’s up to you to paint it. I told him the other person he needs to think about is the Z-man. He watches your every move, last game Z struck out and went straight to the dugout without giving his teammates or other coaches a fist bump. I asked Landon where do you think he saw that. Someone may only see you once in their life, in fact some may only know you from an email or phone call. How do you want them to paint that picture of you?
I was able to build many a relationship by being myself, treating others with respect and being someone that tried to never change from the 4-4 and 0-4 day. Never be afraid of what your paintbrush paints, own it you are the one who is holding it. Don’t rush to judge a picture without stopping to look at the paint. Realize that others are affected by your painting, a smiling and caring face means more than a unhappy one. Don’t be afraid to be there to help others hold their paintbrush in difficult times and know that others will be there to help you with yours.
Enjoy your day!
TCB