We find ourselves usually on two sides of advice, giving it or receiving. All to often the advice we give others is what we want that person to do. It however might not be what they want to do or hear. This leads to arguments and hard feelings. Some advice we receive falls into that same thinking.
How many times have you heard, ” I think this would be best for you” or ” I really think you should do this” In that thinking you are being micromanaged by someone else. This will happen a lot in life. Being able to self manage is a key component many are still trying to learn. The micromanagers will try to tug on your strings to make you do and act the way they feel is best for you. Many “friendships” end because you stop listening to the advice the micromanager gives you. We have to become confident in our own thinking. Yes, there are times when the advice we give or receive is what is best but we can’t always control the outcome.
Another argument you often hear is, “They asked for my advice and then didn’t listen to a word I said.” The thought process is a tough one. I’ve been on both sides of this equation and have been equally frustrated. The first thought is often, fine I won’t help you next time or I’m not giving you advice anymore. We don’t look at the bigger picture, we gave advice to someone else who has to live with the decision, the consequences and the outcome. We all see people in places where they are not happy, beit a relationship, work and so on. We think we know what’s best for them. Many conversations start with this is what I think. We fail to look at the other side and dive into how the other person thinks. We don’t always see the hurt in others. Sometimes that hurt is brought on by our Advice or what we feel is a lack of response to our Advice.
Sometimes the best advice we can give is none at all. It’s a hard task for many as it means we have to keep our thoughts to ourselves. Being a ear to listen to a person in need. Being a hand for them to reach out to or a hand to wipe away a tear. Being a hug when all the person really wants is comfort or the fact that you’re there for them, that is the advice many of us miss. Not all advice is bad under that same breathe not all advice is good. We have to live with the fact that we have to make our own decisions as does the person beside you. We may not agree with their actions, as they may not agree with ours. But we can still support them in what they do and hope they will support us in ours.
Enjoy your day and those you share it with as that’s my Advice for you!
TCB