Coaching is a big enough challenge, trying to ensure you have enough players to play, trying to get field’s ready, working around schedules and weather and so on. Throw into that mindset coaching your own son and that challenge now grows to another level. You are harder on him than any other, you yell and push to get the best out of him as well as the entire team. On the other side of that equation is being the coaches kid. it’s extremely difficult and challenging you have to hear it on the field, on the ride home, at home. Then you hear dad (coach) talk to your mom about what you did wrong and what more you could be doing.
I’ve been on both sides of this. I remember making mistakes and thinking well this is going to be a great conversation later. I remember having conversations about all the things I did wrong, thinking I thought I played pretty well and helped us out. I took it, I accepted it and I grew. As I got older I came to look forward to those conversations, I pushed myself to be perfect so the conversation would have to about that. That conversation never happened, there was always something that I could approve on. Then the talk finally came, son the reason I continue to talk about what you need to improve on is you use it to motivate and push yourself. You are talented and if I only talked about what you did right, you wouldn’t work as hard. It was and continues to be true. I’ve always used that chip, the motivation that others didn’t think I was good enough or the fact that I may be playing because I was the coaches kid.
I try to carry that over now as I wear the hat of coach and dad. I push both my boys hard, my oldest has gotten it more with being older. Also, for the fact that he is an exact clone of myself. I’m harder on him than any other kid I coach. But to be fair to my sons, It doesn’t matter name, relation I’m going to push everyone as hard as I can to be successful. With each player I coach they become family and like most families there’s time of pure joy and then times of pure frustration. It’s then again my challenge to work to obtain more joy than the later.
The hardest part as a dad / coach is seeing and now hearing comments about my son winning awards and playing only because he’s the coaches kid. I’ve never seen someone work harder or have a drive like his. He was told years ago he wasn’t good enough by a coach, he didn’t start and hardly played for a coach who constantly yelled at him. He never missed a practice and continued to do what that coach wanted him to do. He has put his teammates ahead of his own health time and time again. Which is an area that has been another challenge. We have to get to a field 2+ hours before a game or practice because he wants to work on things to get better. He just had a surgery and the first thing he said when the doctor said this is the path we should go was will it help me get better to help my team.
My success as a coach isn’t built with wins and loses it’s being built in these young men growing and challenging themselves. I will continue to face the challenge of being a coach. I will continue to push my entire team and I will continue to be a proud father having that same talk my dad had with me on what things that need to be worked on.
These days will come to and end one day until that time keep working, keep improving and keep the train rolling.
I hope you embrace the challenge and enjoy your day.
TCB