Sometimes the hardest thing to keep is your composure. You will get attacked, you will get knocked down. People will try to find a crack and exploit it.
I’ve been in many situations where my composure was tested. Recently we played a game where after the game the opposing coaches went to the parking lot and approached one of my players. They tried to get him to jump-ship from my team to theirs. To me this was a classless move, it’s disrespectful to the opposing team, the coaches and players on both teams. My player was told he would be their best pitcher and play right away. It shows right away that some coaches do not care about players and it’s all about winning. My success as a coach isn’t built on winning its built on helping players grow, improve and enjoy what they’re doing. Another time my composure was really tested involved Z-man getting hit in the face with a bat, it’s been almost three years and the player and parents have never asked how Z is doing.
Hearing rumors about yourself or loved ones especially untrue ones are hard to take. When your character is attacked out of jealously your composure is tested. Social media is a medium that has become an addiction and downfall for many. People will say and do things to attack you, your name and your character that they will never say to your face.
I’m seeing some composure issues with Deuces. Last night during our game against a team of older kids, a 16 year old barreled into him at the plate. I can’t call it a slide as the kid went full on with a shoulder into Deuces knee. Deuces popped up and threw his glove, it was not a good situation. It was a dirty play and one that could have been a lot worse. Being a catcher you carry a huge target. It was also a great coaching moment not only for 22 but for the entire team. You will be attacked, people will try to hurt you, your reaction and how you handle those situations will be key in your growth. If you can handle those situations while maintaining composure is not always easy but one you have to try. In this situation, if this would have been a tournament both the barrel roll and Deuces would have been ejected because of the contact and reaction.
Now trying to work on the balance of how you handle those situations and protecting yourself is not always black and white. I know I would have reacted the same way, I wouldn’t have been able to keep my composure knowing a kid was trying to hurt me. However, this reaction would have hurt 11 of my brothers. As a coach I have to work with Deuces and a few others that take offense to when they don’t play to their own mindset. He takes it personal if a kid advances on a wildpitch / passed ball or steals on him. He struggles with his composure in those moments. I like the mindset where you want and feel you can make every play, but you have to understand that’s not always the case. You have to remain composed and work to make the next play.
Z-man is built from the same cloth. He hates to lose at anything. If he makes a mistake he loses some composure. He’s seven and had to play on his brothers 13U team about a month ago. He batted three times, contributed an RBI on a FC and then had two strikeouts. He went back to the dugout and cried on the second one because we had runners on base and he felt he let the team down. When you have a desire to be successful at everything you do, you will take blows to your composure when you fail.
Staying composed is not easy. We get tested alot, our cracks are exploited. It’s how we react, how we move forward and how we overcome them that will push us through. There will be times that you won’t be able to keep composed. You will have an outburst, it will happen. My outlet for stress, keeping my composure and handling life is the gym. It’s the only time throughout the day that I stop and 100% concentrate on me. It may sound arrogant but we all need that “me” time. Find your “me” thing and work to keep your composure.
Enjoy your day!
TCB