In our life we are constantly running from one event to the next which in turn usually limits interactions with some family and friends . Last night was no exception, Deuces was set to have a workout however decided to bypass it to go support his closest friends. His comment, “they are my closest friends, who I talk and spend the most time with. They support me so I’m going to go support them.” Being a loyal friend is a tremendous character trait to have and something that often times many take for granted. I’m proud to see both the boys have strong friendships that have grown and know that in difficult times they have someone they can go to.
With any friendship there’s times of jubilation and times of frustration. At times there’s a balancing act that has to occur. You are juggling events, other friends, family and you’re own time. For me the hardest thing to manage is my own time. When I fail at it I also feel as though I’m failing my family and friends. I have a difficult time saying a simple two letter word that usually add’s more items to my plate. In those times it also takes up more time that I no longer have to spend with others. With the activities I’m involved in and activities the boys are involved in, you development what many would call your “inner circle”. I have people that I talk to either in person or by text / call everyday. Then I have others that I haven’t talked to in some time. In my mind both of those people are just as important to me, however I know in their mind it’s different. I know I have to be better. I need to reach out to the ones I haven’t spoken to in sometime.
For me, the hardest thing to handle is when a close friend begins to bash you and your family. It’s something that still amazes me that someone who is and has been close to you will go to another and tear you down. Yet, when that same person sees you everything is rainbows and butterflies. They come to expect you to do everything in your power to help them and when you can’t you become a terrible person. Or if you help another they become jealous. Some friendships are like the old nursery rhyme, The three little pigs. Some are built out of stone and can withstand anything. While others are built out of straw and will crumble with the slightest of breezes or hot air (rumors). For me my closest friend growing up was the person I spent the most time with, the one that if I ever needed anything was just a phone call away. As time, age and life has happened we haven’t been able to talk as much as we used to but the bond, the brother-hood has never faltered. When I was getting married the question was asked do you know who your best man will be. I said I’ve know who my best man will be since I was eight I just needed to find my bride to stand up there with us. My boys have loved him as much as I have and still call with Bro-Bro or Uncle Bro-Bro.
It amazes me as time passes the people who were close, that no longer talk. You will pass someone, the smile, the wave or handshake that used to accompany that passing is no longer there. People who were close no longer talk and if you ask either side neither knows what happened or why they are no longer close. Pride becomes a huge factor in so many of these relationships. One of my closest friends I almost lost, in fact for several years we didn’t talk. Why? Because we are the same person, which is why we are so close, however both thought the other was wrong and neither backed down. Instead of simply talking to each other we both threw up a wall. As I look back on that time I can’t think of anything else but hate for myself. I let someone I care about move further and further away because I was to stubborn to say I’m sorry and lets talk. Each day someone out there is in the exact same spot. People you have spent time with, people you have built a bond with have grown apart. You will let someone walk away because of your pride. We spend so much time trying to rebuild bridges when we could have patched it along the way.
I’m beyond luckily with the people in my life. I have some amazing family and friends. I have people that have shown they not only like the craziness that is my life but want to hop on board. Sometimes the biggest regret I have with some friends is not having them in my life sooner. Over the last several years sports, school and the boys has brought people into our life. Sports has also taken people out of lives. It’s crazy that something that means so much to so many can then destroy what has been built. Again, pride is a huge factor. For some people we see them getting upset rather than supporting when something good happens to another. I witnessed a person who I thought was close to our family stand a few feet away and never look in our direction or acknowledge we were there. I have also witnessed a person fight their way through a crowd just to say hi. One of the greatest things that has been told to me lately was from another mom who said her son is already talking about his senior night and he want’s me to join their family on the field. The relationships we build with others is the most meaningful thing you can do in your life.
We never know what the next day will bring. We could experience the best day of our lives or the worst. In either regard you want and hope you will have your friends there to share it with. I sent a simple text to a man who has become like a brother to me yesterday. He is one I have spent a huge amount of time with over the last few years, he’s one that I have probably aggravated with my many calls and texts but one I truly valued in my life and one I trusted with giving me the hard answers I needed. We both cried at the end of our baseball season because in all accounts it was the last time we will coach together. The text was simple, I miss you! For some we get embarrassed to admit when we need others. Then we get upset when others don’t see we need help. Having someone you can go to when times are hard is the best feeling in the world. Knowing someone has your back, is in your corner and constantly supports you can get you through tough times.
I hope the bonds, the relationships and friendships being built by the boys will continue. Again, I go back to the brother-hood I have with my best friend. It started at age five and has continued for the last 34 years. We have had bumps, detours and roadblocks but never let it tear us apart. To my friends, first thank you for being there. To the ones I talk to everyday, you are what helps me get through my hustle and bustle. I couldn’t do it without you. To the ones I haven’t spoken to in some time, you are still important and someone I cherish in my life. If we used to be close and we see each other I’m still going to wave, shake your hand and possibly give you a hug, I hope you will return it. To the friends that I have let pride put a wedge into our bond, I’m sorry. If you’re out there and you feel like you have let pride take you away from others, take that deep breathe and pick up your phone today and make contact with someone.
Enjoy your day and Thanks for Being A Friend!
TCB