If you’ve ever played a sport you know the ultimate goal is to win.  For some that is the end all goal, win at all costs.  By many I would not be considered a very good coach as winning isn’t my main focus, especially at younger ages.  I’ve been trusted by parents and players for almost fifteen years now to coach.  For me coaching is about growing, learning and helping players believe in themselves to ultimately win in life.  Yes, I want to win, but we often learn more from losing.  I’ve coached teams to championships and several second places finishes, but the “trophy” that means the most to me is seeing the kids I coached at a younger age making their high school teams.  I just had one former player receive four letters as a freshman while carry a 4.0 average.  That is my win.

Now, one thing that has happened with coaching and the huge surge of travel ball and year around push is the loss of time.  We don’t get to see family and friends as often as we would like. Kids are being told that they have to choose at an early age a sport and nothing else.  It’s summer and kids are being told if you miss a workout it will affect your playing time.  You have to put this activity first and if you don’t you won’t play.  The days of kids who want to play sports to go spend a week with a grandparent are becoming few and far between.  Why, because winning is what matters and if a kid wants to play they have follow the recommendations.

It’s no longer a fun experience for many.  We have taken away so much of our kid’s youth because they are expected to win and put winning first. I don’t see kids playing with toys much anymore, it’s training, practice or games that have filled up their days.  I observe and really watch interactions with players and parents when they arrive at a field or gym.  Do the kids run to the field?  Do they walk with their heads down? Are they being pushed out of the car by the parent?  Smiles and laugher for “playing” a game are becoming fewer.  It’s become a job for many, because the expectation is that the player will be the next player to ‘make’ it.

Burnout, fatigue and injury are also becoming more frequent from continued winning.   I had a parent tell me their son pitched them to a championship by throwing 115 pitches at age nine.  This has happened several times for this player.  One weekend he didn’t pitch well and the comment was made I don’t know what was wrong.  He’s tired, he’s hurt and in a couple years probably won’t be able to lift his arm.  Will the trophies and winning be worth it?

I’m just as guilty with schedules and amount of games we play.  I’ve made the excuse, I will do it as long as the kids want to play.  The boys both love the sports they compete in and continue to say we want to do it but they also feel the pressure put on them to have to be there.  I know it will end for them some day, my fear is the game will continue but the play part will end.  As a coach, what I would consider to be a great opportunity to play a weekend for a national team popped up for Zane.  His response, that would be great but I want to take that weekend off, as a Dad zero hesitation with a response back to that team.  They were surprised, yes a win was a very good possibility but it wasn’t worth the loss.

With the way things are going, this isn’t going to change and I expect it to only get worse.  If we continue to take away the kids youth and push them beyond their limits to win then we are going to continue to see loss.  We are going to start losing kids to a sport they used to love because someone took away that love. Observe their reaction to going to a field, how they approach it and listen to the no’s.

Enjoy your day!

TCB