Raising a Teenager is like rolling dice, some days you get a hot streak and other days you crap out. The ability of an attitude to change with a gust of wind is hard to understand and even harder to plan for. Throw in the appeal to impress others and the end of the world feelings when something goes wrong.
For me, I have to deal with my teenager at home and then on a field with 10-11 other teenagers. There’s times I feel like I’m dodging land mines to get to an answer. I asked, what I thought was a simple question last week, What event is your friend going to do in the track meet? You would have thought I kicked the dog, spit in his eye and stole his phone. For a second I thought he had become the alter ego of the demon out of Jack-Jack. We had to tap the brakes and go back to the question to see what triggered Mount St. Helen’s eruption.
In addition to crossing the line of fire with the teenage attitude we have the odor. There is no other way around it than to say Dear Lord, please help me create a full body deodorant. It’s a constant battle, did you put on deodorant. Are you sure? Do I need to do a arm check? Stomp-stomp up the stairs. Back down, did you put it on.. back up the stairs. Then other days, we get deodorant ok, but go full on whole bottle of cologne to the point where the neighbors are calling to ask did Brian from Anchorman stop by. Deuces competes, I will give him that but with most competition the guy is full on sweat city. His shoes will never be passed down to Z as they are often burnt, sometimes before they are outgrown as the smell of death arises from them. Showers, sometimes I think he just stands under the water for 10-15 minutes. When he gets out, did you wash your hair? Back in he goes, another 5-10 minutes. Then its, Dude your hair isn’t wet, oh I forgot. Wait, WHAT!? Alight, it may not be to that level… everyday.
Now, with the teenage years, comes the drama that is middle school. I feel like I have to keep a notebook of who is cool with who. There are multiple teams where kids don’t like the other team so it’s banter back and forth. The side most don’t stop and look at is middle school leads to high school and there is only one team… which means you will most likely become teammates. The other thing that is a juggling act is friends. You hope your teenager has friends they can lean on. Luckily, Deuces has a few special people in his life. As a parent you hope that friendship and bond continues. You’re also starting to look at the opposite sex and their family to find someone you like. As you are beginning to look at people you want to spend time with yourself. The other thing that is noticed at this age, friends from elementary may no longer be friends now as paths have went different directions.
As I write this, I can’t help but think, first and foremost did I have that much odor back then. As most know, Deuces is an exact replica of me. Well, except for hair, he has a lot and I don’t. As a father, I know I shouldn’t say this as we continue to hear being a parent and being a friend should be separated. However, I will argue that he is the person I spend the most time with, in addition to be a replica of each other we have similar likes and dislikes. He is the person I talk with the most. I was asked by a friend over the weekend after posting some photos, so he’s the favorite. I love both my boys equally, that will never change. Deuces was my sole attention for 6.5 years before Z joined us. The bond with your first born will never be broken. Having a teenager that mirrors you also makes it difficult on the wife. I get constant calls or texts from her complaining about his attitude for the day, which in turn means she’s made at me because he’s my “mini” me. There are times I walk in the door and get the look and think, Oh NO! He acted like me again.
For the other parents that are going through the gorilla warfare of the teenage years or to the ones about to, let’s buckle up. I think some of the issues with this age is dictated by us, as we know we are counting down the days till high-school, college and then their next step into adult hood. We can’t stop or slow down time. We all look at them and still see that little one, even when their almost eye level and solid as a rock at 13. There’s nothing I would trade to be a father of a teenager. Even with the roller coaster of emotions, the good days and bad I still love that smelly,attitude driven replica of myself.
Enjoy your day, if you see my teenager and he smells don’t be afraid to spray him with something.
TCB