One of the worst feelings you can have is not being wanted. It’s something that can occur without warning or happen over time. You can see the separation happening before your eyes yet can’t stop it. It can come with an absolute blindside. It can be something that we have no control over even though we are doing our best to make it work. You can give something your all yet find out it doesn’t matter. The length of a relationship, either personal or business doesn’t always make a difference.
I was part of a group, one that was doing and continues to do great things. Then without notice I was no longer part of that group. No reason, no discussion just done. Being competitive, being who I am it ignited a fire within me. I was told it was an oversight and I would still be included. Months later we continue to not be affiliated. We have all experienced something similar in our life. A relationship with another person that ends. A career that one day you walk into the office and the rug is pulled out from beneath you. We have others giving us pep talks and advice. Saying you will be okay, you will land on your feet. Is that always the case? Absolutely not. In life we have bumps in the road. We are going to face some form of rejection. I faced some rejection recently with an opportunity that from all angles appeared to be a slam dunk. I was told I knocked it out of the park. I impressed everyone I spoke too, everyone couldn’t stop talking about me. Yet, that opportunity passed without the end goal occurring. It was a great reminder that even though you do everything within your power to reach something it may not be good enough. You were not what they wanted.
How do we handle when we find out we are no longer wanted? Does the rejection consume you? Are you able to pick yourself back up? Can you move forward? I can’t give you that answer. Each instance and person faces this challenge differently. Some struggle, some have a hard time picking themselves back up. While others, the rejection, the not being wanted actually brings about happiness as they find a better opportunity. Sometimes they find themselves. We tend to change to fit the ideals of how we feel a person and job wants or expects of us. Just because one person or a job doesn’t want you doesn’t mean someone else doesn’t.
I have used that chip on my shoulder, that rejection as extra motivation to get where I’m at today. I was told in high school I couldn’t shoot and I couldn’t jump, yet as soon as I graduated that person called me and said I want you to play on my personal team. Then proceeded to tell me if he had 12 of me we would have won a state title. After I got hurt my senior year the doors that were beginning to open to prolong my playing days quickly closed. I was devastated it had been my life long plan and my goal. However, looking back on it. I didn’t do enough to help make that progression a possibility. I see now I let rejection and not being wanted dictate so much of my early life that I let opportunities pass me by. I can’t change the past but will hold the pen that writes my story moving forward. I know there are people that want and need me. I know being me has an impact on others and that is rewarding. I’ve had some great conversations lately and can see that the two people who matter most to me have that same vision and passion. They both have faced not being wanted and rejection but that has motivated them to prove themselves right and the doubters wrong. They also have some amazing people in their corner, people that they care so much about.
You can let not being wanted or being rejected stop you or you can grab you pen and write a better story.
Enjoy your day and the words that came from your pen!
TCB